mommyblogsideofwife

  I kept silence with a lot of things. I will remain silence about it. I just know I don't dig up other past aggression like I used too. To me is this. Why bother?? They will continue to be a shitty person no matter what.

 Gosh I haven't blogged in nearly 2 months. Like anyone sees this anyways. I am getting over my past. I do not dwell on it. I don't see the need anymore. I am just doing my best and being the very best I can be.     

  When you wish harm or hurt on someone did you know that it will come back on you? You know why? It's because when you do such a thing. It's called Karma. Sometimes Karma does work in ways.  So I hope the lesson is learned.  Good luck.

  I basically leave my past. It's in the past compelling reason need to recall that anything. This weekend I understand I'm simply an individual. I commit errors a ton of them. Be that as it may, I have gleaned tons of useful knowledge from them. I discovered that I can quit mindful and hence I did. I'm out search for repairing anything. It will be if there something there. If not. Give up and leave. It's OK to simply allow things just to go. It's an opportunity that I am getting a charge out of. I'm doing new things with my life. Making recordings and doing garbage journaling. It's been truly remedial. I have been investing less energy somewhere else and zeroing in on the main thing. It's not what's happening the web and certain networks. I'm effectively beginning making pay and I'm attempting to give and improve by my loved ones. I'm putting them first and I will begin with myself. I'm investing myself first for the principal energy...

          I decided long and hard about this. I will not returning to social media such a Twitter. I do have an instagram but I barely use it. However twitter no. My only social media is facebook.     You have to add me as a friend to see what is going on in my life. I have become very private now.   I am at peace too 

  It's strange sometimes. I sit here pondering to ponder. My words and feelings I feel sometimes they don't matter. Yet I can still see some hurtful words thrown at me.  Please don't wish harm on someone. It will come back to you. I promise. I promise because I used to be that girl. Not anymore. I like myself the way I am.  I told once I didn't have any friends. I was once told I hope I hurt. I still think about those words.  I look at my friends. I do have solid friendships.  I was looking for validation to the wrong friends. I was seeking something that I already have.  It's nice. It's nice to have those real voices that actually care about my feelings and words.  I am not lonely, I do not hurt, I am at peace.  Right now I am going through something that I can't really talk about. It has nothing to do with friendships.  So while I am on this journey. I hope you have peace if you read this.

I sat on this topic for a while. I thought about it for a long time. When you get yourself involved with toxic people. You do become toxic as well. I realized I was that person who became extremely toxic. I sabotaged some friendships on purpose because there was some toxic people around me. I seeing myself in the mirror becoming them. I didn't want to be around them anymore.I didn't want to be a part of that world. I was becoming a vile human being. So I did what I needed to do. After math was not lonely as they thought I would feel. I actually okay where I am now. However, when you tell someone I hope they hurt. That will come back to you. I am not sure what has happen to those toxic people. I care not to know. I moved on. I am in a happier mindset.  I am getting up, I am cleaning up my life little by little. That's okay. It's perfectly find just to disappear without a trace. Because the satisfaction is not there to watch you suffer. That's the worst feeling when...

Fall   Fall is coming, I know everyone is like you gotta wait until September 22nd or whereabouts but to me. It starts on September 1st, the last four months of the year are my favorite time.    Back then kids did not go back to school until after Labor day. I wished that was still a thing. I would love my son to experience it.  It's like now days kids gets only 2 months of summer and longer school year.    Times have truly changed. I know I do like to decorate, watch cozy movies this time of the year, bake, cuddle up and just hibernate until Spring.     It's the most colorful time of the year too. With the trees changing, the smells in the air it's nice.  I do miss the days where I used to live. It would get cooler faster. Now living near the gulf. I have to wait. Maybe one day I will be able to move out of here into the mountains again. I love the beach but I do love cooler weather more.

  You know what I find weird? How school has changed. I was a lackey kid growing up. I came home after the bus dropped us off. We got the mail, went inside locked the door behind us. We didn't have an after school program. We looked after ourselves. I started around 7 or 8 my sister is a year older than me. So you do the math.  We came home did what little homework we had got out of our school clothes changed into play clothes. We made a snack then before we knew mom and dad were home. We would do chores too as well. Honestly it was a simpler time. It was a time I wished I could go back too.  After my son has been in school now since Kindergarten. It's been go go go. It's just weird. I know he is growing up. He started an after school program this year because I work from home. I didn't want him to be stuck in his room and its good for his social skills. He is a smart boy. I think its nice.  I just find it strange how once we came home vs now how kids come home. They...

  I am not sure where to start this but here we go.  Her name is Angie, we met on LiveJournal in 2005. Our friendship started out rough but in the end she became one my of best friends. Yes, I never got to meet her in person but this gal. I am not good with words.  No matter what we are going through. She has my back. I have hers. She is been my friend for a long time. It's been crazy how long we have known each other.  Lately we have been gabbing a lot. It's been nice. It's nice because I can sit down and talk to her and she listens and I listen to her. We both give each other great encouragement.  Her name is Angie.

  Being a boy mom, I am not sure how other boy moms are but being a boy mom to my son is adventurous, finding little creations all over the place, toys, talking about Gundam, talking about cars, talking about kitties, he loves his kitties, talking about going on road trips to the beach.  My son is a story teller. He will tell one story on a single objective. It will have a beginning, a middle and ending. He is a brilliant child. I am a boy mom. We hang out and play. He does his own thing when he just wants to.  How is like being a boy mom to other boy moms? I would like to know. Comment if you like. 

I am not sure where I can start this blog post because its always been hard for me to express myself because I end up crying a lot but... I had the best mom in the world. I had a mother that was a mother and wanted nothing but the best for me. I had a mother who treated me well and yes just like all relationships I never understood her until I became a mother. I really want to be like her sometimes I feel like I fail in the short in. Or maybe I try to hard and end up failing.    My mom always made me feel really pretty. I haven't felt pretty since her death. When your parent dies a large part of you dies along with. I think about her daily. Like I have moments when I am sitting here and I just start crying. I cry because I felt I never had enough time for her.  This is my mom in her element. She was a beautician from 1968 until upon her death. She went beauty school not long after her and my dad married. She had many shops in her life time. All of them where it was like s...

  See this little guy here? Well he made me a mom 8 years ago. I went into being a mom with blind eye. You see when he was born my mom passed away. So I had help here and there. I didn't know what I was doing. I had some advice from all over. I just figured it out on my own. I tried my best. 8 years later and I am still figuring it out. I try my best to be the best mom but in the long run. He always comes up to me and tells me I am good mommy and he is glad I am his mom. So that just makes everything better. It makes a world of difference. I am still working on being more organized but with someone who has ADHD and other mental health problems. It gets rough sometimes.  A little backstory. Welcome to Mommy with a Side of Wife.