mommyblogsideofwife

 Gosh I haven't blogged in nearly 2 months. Like anyone sees this anyways. I am getting over my past. I do not dwell on it. I don't see the need anymore. I am just doing my best and being the very best I can be.     

  When you wish harm or hurt on someone did you know that it will come back on you? You know why? It's because when you do such a thing. It's called Karma. Sometimes Karma does work in ways.  So I hope the lesson is learned.  Good luck.

  I basically leave my past. It's in the past compelling reason need to recall that anything. This weekend I understand I'm simply an individual. I commit errors a ton of them. Be that as it may, I have gleaned tons of useful knowledge from them. I discovered that I can quit mindful and hence I did. I'm out search for repairing anything. It will be if there something there. If not. Give up and leave. It's OK to simply allow things just to go. It's an opportunity that I am getting a charge out of. I'm doing new things with my life. Making recordings and doing garbage journaling. It's been truly remedial. I have been investing less energy somewhere else and zeroing in on the main thing. It's not what's happening the web and certain networks. I'm effectively beginning making pay and I'm attempting to give and improve by my loved ones. I'm putting them first and I will begin with myself. I'm investing myself first for the principal energy...

          I decided long and hard about this. I will not returning to social media such a Twitter. I do have an instagram but I barely use it. However twitter no. My only social media is facebook.     You have to add me as a friend to see what is going on in my life. I have become very private now.   I am at peace too 

  It's strange sometimes. I sit here pondering to ponder. My words and feelings I feel sometimes they don't matter. Yet I can still see some hurtful words thrown at me.  Please don't wish harm on someone. It will come back to you. I promise. I promise because I used to be that girl. Not anymore. I like myself the way I am.  I told once I didn't have any friends. I was once told I hope I hurt. I still think about those words.  I look at my friends. I do have solid friendships.  I was looking for validation to the wrong friends. I was seeking something that I already have.  It's nice. It's nice to have those real voices that actually care about my feelings and words.  I am not lonely, I do not hurt, I am at peace.  Right now I am going through something that I can't really talk about. It has nothing to do with friendships.  So while I am on this journey. I hope you have peace if you read this.

I sat on this topic for a while. I thought about it for a long time. When you get yourself involved with toxic people. You do become toxic as well. I realized I was that person who became extremely toxic. I sabotaged some friendships on purpose because there was some toxic people around me. I seeing myself in the mirror becoming them. I didn't want to be around them anymore.I didn't want to be a part of that world. I was becoming a vile human being. So I did what I needed to do. After math was not lonely as they thought I would feel. I actually okay where I am now. However, when you tell someone I hope they hurt. That will come back to you. I am not sure what has happen to those toxic people. I care not to know. I moved on. I am in a happier mindset.  I am getting up, I am cleaning up my life little by little. That's okay. It's perfectly find just to disappear without a trace. Because the satisfaction is not there to watch you suffer. That's the worst feeling when...

Fall   Fall is coming, I know everyone is like you gotta wait until September 22nd or whereabouts but to me. It starts on September 1st, the last four months of the year are my favorite time.    Back then kids did not go back to school until after Labor day. I wished that was still a thing. I would love my son to experience it.  It's like now days kids gets only 2 months of summer and longer school year.    Times have truly changed. I know I do like to decorate, watch cozy movies this time of the year, bake, cuddle up and just hibernate until Spring.     It's the most colorful time of the year too. With the trees changing, the smells in the air it's nice.  I do miss the days where I used to live. It would get cooler faster. Now living near the gulf. I have to wait. Maybe one day I will be able to move out of here into the mountains again. I love the beach but I do love cooler weather more.